


Countdown

by starrybaek (orphan_account)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Betrayal, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, OT9 (EXO), Past Abuse, Potter Baekhyun, Romance, implied sexual content with one frisky scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-10-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:21:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22833940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/starrybaek
Summary: Born with a timer imprinted on their wrists, everyone counts down the days till they meet their soulmate, their guaranteed love at first sight. Except for Baekhyun. While everyone's wrists count down, Baekhyun's timer only goes up. He lives as the only error in the world and accepts his fate until a complete mess of a man decides to turn his life upside down, Kim Jongin.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongin | Kai
Comments: 17
Kudos: 60





	1. un

**Author's Note:**

> sorry I took so long to update, stay safe guys!! And I really hope you guys like the story!

“I’m tired, stop now will you.” Baekhyun mumbled as Haesoo started climbing onto his body again. 

“I’d love if you showed a little more expression. You haven’t moaned my name during all the times we did it, you know.” Haesoo whispered in response. 

Baekhyun shuddered as Haesoo’s hand began sliding up his length in an effort to make him hard for probably the eighty-eight time today. 

“Why? Do you not like it? Am I not tight enough?” Haesoo said and let out an airy moan as he grinded his entrance over Baekhyun’s length. 

“Haesoo, I mean it. We’ve been doing it all afternoon, I have some work to do.” Baekhyun said, grasping Haesoo’s hips to stop him from moving. Baekhyun tried sitting up in an effort to get him to stop but he was pushed down with a sloppy kiss. Haesoo proceeded to kiss down Baekhyun’s neck and across his chest. 

“Haesoo, what’s gotten into you?” Baekhyun asked, playing with his hair trying his absolute best not to glance at the black numbers on Haesoo’s wrist. 

“I want you to fuck me hard enough that I’ll remember it till I die.” He mumbled in response as he finally reached Baekhyun’s length and pressed kisses onto it. 

“Okay that’s enough.” Baekhyun said, gently but firmly pushing his boyfriend off of him and getting up. “I’m gonna go take a shower and go to the studio. I still have work to do.” 

“But I’m still hard.” Haesoo whined as he pumped his own length gently. And there it was.

On his wrist. The number marked clear as day. Seven. Haesoo had only seven days left before he’d meet his soulmate. That explained the crazy libido he seemed to have today. It was going to be their last day together. Baekhyun’s heart dropped, but not too far. 

“Take a shower and leave once you’re done. There’s some food in the fridge if you need it. I’ll see you sometime.” Baekhyun said as he pulled on his bathrobe. “Oh, and,” he leaned down to Haesoo and pecked his forehead. “Bye.” 

Baekhyun patted Haesoo on the head, who seemed to understand what was happening. As he walked towards the bathroom he heard Haesoo yell thank you or something along those lines. 

As he stepped into the shower and drenched himself in the steamy water, the familiar emptiness in his heart began. And so did the interrogation. 

_ “Do I love Haesoo?”  _

_ “Should I just ask him to stay?” _

_ “Would he be willing to?” _

_ “What if I beg him?” _

_ “Does he love me?” _

His eyes burned as he glared at his own wrist in rage. 9619 days. Why he hadn’t gotten used to the feeling of injustice and this pain, he didn’t know. He knew that everyone he dated only used him for sexual experience so they could treat their soulmate better when their countdowns ticked down to a zero. He knew, but he needed the sense of companionship even if they only saw him as a sex toy. 

He just didn’t want to be alone.

Was that so wrong?

* * *

“One-Shot!!!!” Sehun cheered as they went in for another row of shots. The alcohol burned into Baekhyun’s system, the only comfort from the burning in his heart. 

“Where’s Chanyeol?” Baekhyun yelled over the music to his younger brother who was downing another row of shots. Sehun pointed to his soulmate, jumping on the dance floor in the crowd, moving along to the beat of the music blasting overhead. Sehun signaled to Baekhyun that he was going into the crowd and Baekhyun nodded in response. He watched Sehun swim through the crowd and reach Chanyeol. Grins lighted up on both of their faces as Chanyeol pulled Sehun closer by the waist. And then—  _ ugh, here they go again.  _ They intensely kissed, sacrificing the need to breathe as Sehun slipped his hand into Chanyeol’s shirt.

He needed a break. Baekhyun left a message for the couple with the bartender that he’d be heading out and took his last shot for the night. Oh, he was definitely drunk. He felt his body swerve with lack of balance the moment he stood, but still navigated through the dim yet colorful lights that the club had to offer. 

Baekhyun had promised himself countless times that he wouldn’t let the breakups get to him. Even though he always dated with the knowledge that they would end up breaking up with him because unlike him, they all had a day to wait for, a lifelong companion to wait for. Baekhyun shuddered as he stepped into the cold night wind. He hugged his jacket around him, cursing at himself for not bringing a scarf. He could barely stand still. Too many toxins ran through him, he didn’t even feel conscious. He walked five steps before he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and was met with the sight of a seemingly pretty girl.

“Oh my god, it  _ is _ you,” the girl he had never seen before, or his drunk brain failed to recognize, mumbled as she covered her mouth in surprise. Behind her, her friends called out to her, something about not associating with someone like him. 

“Yeah, what about me?” Baekhyun slurred in response. She immediately covered her nose to block out the smell of alcohol. Her cheeks turned a bright red as he smirked at her. She looked fragile, nestled in the warmth of her beige scarf and her expensive looking coat. He almost wanted to break her, just like everyone broke him and didn’t bother looking back at the shattered fragments of his soul. 

“You were the one who dated my soulmate, Changwoo, before I met him. I just wanted to thank you for showing him how to love. We owe a lot to you for making our relationship perfect.” She said, a smile on her face. 

_ She’s kidding right? _

He wanted to hurt her, hurt her friends behind her who had a clear look of disgust on their faces, hurt Haesoo, hurt everyone. . . hurt himself. 

“I can show you how to love too.” Baekhyun said as he pushed her against the wall, careful not to hurt her. “And Changwoo, how’s he doing, do you give him as much love as I gave him? He used to get off the most on receiving it from behind. Is doing you from the front the same? He can’t be half as satisfied as he was with me.” He felt satisfaction seep into his bones as he watched her face turn beet red and contort into an expression of pure disgust and shock. Her hand moved quickly as she slapped his face, making his face swing to the side. She pushed him away, clutching her bag tight. 

“You creep, what would you know about love and soulmates? You mateless freak.” She lashed out at him and walked away to her friends who were nodding in agreement. 

Baekhyun scoffed, trying hard to suppress the tears burning his eyelids. She was telling the truth, so why did it hurt so much? What did he know about love? He had never had someone love him back wholeheartedly. She was right. He was a freak, a curse to break the purity of the world. Baekhyun leaned against the wall and sank to the floor, hiding his now tearful face behind his knees which he hugged to his chest. 

How much more did he have to suffer?

* * *

A new start. 

That’s what Kim Jongin promised himself as he stepped out of his new apartment. He would greet his neighbors tomorrow with the rice cakes Kyungsoo had made yesterday. But for now he was starving and decided to go to the convenience store for something to eat. 

He was locking the door to his apartment when the neighbor’s door swung open. A man around his age stepped out and stretched his arms above his head. He was smiling and staring at the moon as he sighed a sigh of relief. On hearing Jongin struggling with his keys, the man turned to face him. 

“Oh, you must be the new tenant!” He greeted Jongin with a grin on his face. Jongin politely bowed and nodded. 

“Yes, I just moved in today. My name is Kim Jongin, nice to—” 

“Save it for later. I don’t live here. But my name’s Haesoo, if you want to know. The owner probably won’t be coming home tonight so take it easy. See you later pretty boy,” he said with a wink and proceeded to walk away as pink stained Jongin’s cheeks at the compliment. Was he the owner’s friend? Jongin shook his head to remind himself just how hungry he was. 

He finally locked his door and walked out into the chilly night. Jongin found his way through the streets, cursing at how much he hated the cold, especially the icy chill that seeped into his bones despite the layers he had on. 

A small groan of pain sounded from the sidewalk pulling Jongin out of his head. He looked down to see that he had accidentally stepped on a homeless man’s foot. Jongin looked up and realized he had wandered much too far, a busy street surrounding him. He crouched down in front of the man to apologize when the scent of alcohol hit him. 

“Excuse me sir, are you okay?” He had no reason to even talk to the drunkard but he couldn’t bring himself to leave him alone especially after having stepped on his foot. The man was hiding his face between his legs which he had hugged to his chest. His black hair was strewn across his knees. That’s when he noticed the Balenciaga shoes. This wasn’t a homeless man, this was just a grieving drunkard.

“Sir?” Jongin tapped the man’s arms to get his attention. The man flung his arms out in an effort to push the nuisance, that was Jongin, away, slapping him in the process. He noticed the instant apology in the man’s eyes but he seemed too torn apart to convey it. But now that he looked at the man’s face, he didn’t know how to feel. His current vibe went for bad boy but there was a tenderness in his eyes and a softness in the way his lips were shaped that contradicted Jongin’s initial judgement of him. The man’s eyes were lined with red as if he had just finished sobbing and his hair was jostled around, messy but adding on to the cuteness of his face. 

“What do you want?” He slurred and while his words seemed clear, he seemed two steps away from blacking out. “If you’re here for the sex, fuck off.”

Jongin didn’t know how to respond. He had just wanted to apologize for stepping on him. Sex? It was the exact opposite of what he wanted, especially from a complete stranger. He had no clue why he did it, but Jongin got up and plopped down right next to him, leaning against the wall. He wondered what Kyungsoo would say about this. The man swiveled around to face him, his eyes hazy. 

“Did you not hear me? I said I don’t want to have sex.” He repeated. Whatever this guy had been through had clearly broken him apart, if he thought that everyone only talked to him for sex.

“What makes you think I would want to have sex with you? We all have our ways of coping with problems but I doubt screwing drunk strangers would help much.” Jongin said softly. 

“Wait, you don’t know me?” He mumbled, mostly to himself. After noticing the  _ was-I-supposed-to _ look Jongin was giving him, he clarified. “I’m Baekhyun, you know, the only guy with the screwed up countdown.” He pulled down his sleeve and flashed Jongin his wrist. “Mine goes up. Meaning I will never meet my soulmate. But people approach me for practice so they could give their soulmate the ultimate time the first time they do it. But if you’re not here for sex, I don’t even know why you bothered talking to me.”

Jongin felt a familiar ache in his chest. He was shocked for sure, but this ache came from some part in his heart that he’d never felt before. Maybe his secret would be safe with this beautiful drunk man. 

“You have a lot to say for such a drunk man,” Jongin said glancing at him. 

“Well why don’t you say something instead? Tell this drunk man one of your secrets, pretty boy.” He said with a small smile on his face even though his eyes were half open. He was about to pass out. 

“A secret?” Jongin repeated. Baekhyun only gave him a beautiful lazy grin as he nodded. Boy, did Jongin have a secret for him. 

Jongin looked down at his wrist, his perfectly fine countdown, before glancing up at Baekhyun. And as he slipped into oblivion, Jongin whispered into his ear.

“I don’t have a soulmate either.”

  
  
  



	2. deux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I am so sorry i disappeared on this book for nearly 7 months. My laptop broke and i had to save up to buy a new one. But in the mean time, i did plan out the rest of this book, so maybe more consistency from now? but i hope you guys still like this book. Also wondering if i should link my socials hhhhh

“Hyung!!!! Are you up,” a voice hollered from outside Baekhyun’s apartment.

Nausea rumbled through Baekhyun’s stomach as he staggered out of his bed, recognizing Mingyu’s voice. His brain hammered inside his skull as he let out a groggy groan, a result of being completely wasted and sobbing apparently. 

“You didn’t give me the keys last night so I can’t open up. Hyung are you there?”

Baekhyun opened the door and saw Mingyu flinch with his entire body as he smelled the hangover on Baekhyun. He squinted at the boy towering over him. Why was he here and not opening up the bookstore?  _ Right. Keys.  _

“Come in,” Baekhyun mumbled at the part-timer, turning around and making his way to his dining table. 

“This place is a mess, did you drink here or go out?”

“Out. But I don’t remember how I got home. Probably Sehun.” 

“Do you want me to help clean up?”

Mingyu helped Baekhyun fumble through the mess on the table to find the keys. He was grateful to Mingyu, as usual, for all the help, but Baekhyun couldn’t help but feel like he was taking advantage of the boy. Mingyu had been looking up to Baekhyun practically since he was born and letting him work at Baekhyun’s bookstore/pottery studio made Mingyu practically high from happiness. He was a good kid, well more like a puppy if Baekhyun was being honest with himself. 

“No, it’s okay, I got it. Can you open up the studio too, just unlock the kiln room for me. I’ll be down there in an hour.”

Mingyu nods and gives Baekhyun a toothy smile as he finds the keys and waves it in his face. 

“Oh right, I met your new neighbor when I was waiting. I think he goes to my university, I’ve seen him there before. I didn’t know Grandma was renting the other apartment.” Mingyu mentions as he makes his way out, slipping into his shoes.

“Yeah she mentioned something about that but I haven’t met him. I guess he moved in yesterday.”

“I see. Anyway, I’ll see you in an hour, and  _ please  _ take a shower,” he practically begged. 

Baekhyun shot him a glare as he closed the door on his face. The building belonged to Mingyu’s grandmother who practically raised the two of them. There were two apartments, a rooftop apartment and the bottom floor was the bookstore and pottery studio Baekhyun owned and ran alone. Baekhyun had felt that familiar pang of embarrassment when Mingyu’s grandma had gifted him an entire floor to use as a studio and let him rent an apartment right above. The bookstore, more like a library, was something Baekhyun had to do to guarantee a source of income. 

Baekhyun stripped on his way to the shower and let out another groan as he remembered why exactly he had gone drinking last night. The more he thought about it, the more annoyed he got. Not at his ex, in this case Haesoo. But at himself. For going and repeating the same mistake he’s done probably a million times at this point. He knew anyone approaching him only did it for practice and not because they actually liked him. And Baekhyun just played along.

As Baekhyun washed his hair he decided he wouldn’t fall in love or date anyone again. He made this promise every time he had a breakup. But this time was different. Because he was tired. 

Baekhyun was tired.

* * *

Baekhyun made his way to his studio at the back of the bookstore, waving at Mingyu who was collecting the books someone had strewn across the sofas. Mingyu smiled back as Baekhyun pushed the glass door to the studio open. 

He remembered his new neighbor as he walked past the glass racks displaying his handmade plates and bowls. He should probably give him a vase or something. It was a little odd that he’d move so many months after the university started.

The headache still pounded at his head as he flipped through his pending orders. He should try to finish at least shaping them by today, he could let them dry over tonight and tomorrow before he put them in the kiln. He could probably glaze and ship them out by Tuesday. Baekhyun slipped into his apron and prepped his materials. He lifted a block of clay and brought it to his wheel and began his work.

He was lost in his work, nearly done with a curvy vase as he felt someone’s eyes on him. Baekhyun looked up to find a man watching him, almost in a trance. Baekhyun felt chills spread throughout his spine as the man stood there watching him almost creepily. Baekhyun felt his fear and panic rise.  Was it a customer? That’s the only way he could’ve gotten past Mingyu, unless he was a thief. Was Mingyu okay?

The man broke away from his trance as he noticed Baekhyun’s panicked attention. His ears turned red, just as panicked as Baekhyun. 

“I'm so sorry, oh my god,” he spilled out. “I swear I’m not a creep. Do you not remember me?” 

He looked confused, shy and panicked all at the same time. Baekhyun had no idea who this man was or what he was talking about as he switched off his wheel and raised his wet clay covered hands in the air, to prevent dripping it onto the floor.

“I'm sorry, I don't think I do. Are you here to place an order?” Baekhyun asked in return, a bit defensively. 

The man looked slightly hurt but mostly relieved about something.

“No, I'm your new neighbor. My name’s Kim Jongin. Nice to meet you.”

The panic subsided as he realized he’s not in danger and that Mingyu was probably okay. He finally looked at the man and realized that he had failed to notice how handsome the man actually was. He looked well built and had the same kind of glowing melanin in his skin that Mingyu had. His brown eyes glowed with the sunlight seeping through the window. He looked soft and warm in his thick sweater and jeans. His dark, puffy hair was splayed across his forehead long enough to barely cover the top of his eyes. He was breathtaking.

Baekhyun broke into a smile, relieved.

“Oh my bad, I'm Baekhyun. Nice to meet you too. Sorry I didn’t welcome you earlier. Let me wash my hands real quick.”

“No no, don’t worry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you, you can continue. I just wanted to say hi.” Jongin said, his cheeks still red and his eyes a little wide.

“Oh, hi then,” Baekhyun said with an awkward laugh, his arms tingling as the wet clay started to drip down to his elbows.

Baekhyun felt the awkwardness start to build and nearly sank down in relief when Mingyu burst in.

“Hyung, we’re having a party at Chanyeol hyung’s house tonight, I told them you’d be there.” Mingyu noticed Jongin and felt the awkwardness in the room. “Oh, you were invited too right?”

Baekhyun glanced between the two, Jongin turning another shade of red at the sudden attention and invitation. 

“Yeah, a friend from one of my classes invited me. His name’s Sehun, do you know him?” He replied nervously.

Baekhyun _almost_ burst out laughing at just how awkward this man was but he concealed it with a smile. Mingyu just grinned. 

“Of course we know him. He’s Baekhyun Hyung’s little brother and Chanyeol Hyung’s mate.”

Jongin looked at Baekhyun, confused.

“Yeah, Sehun and I don’t really look alike. We get that a lot.” Baekhyun clarified.

“No no, it’s not that— well that too but, you look the same age as him.” He responded and Baekhyun almost swore he could hear the gears turning in Jongin’s head. 

“Well, I’m flattered. But he’s only two years younger so it’s not too big of a difference.” 

The bell near the bookstore door tingled and Mingyu nodded to say goodbye and left. 

“Well, I guess I’ll see you at the party tonight.” Jongin said quickly, and rushed out after Mingyu.

Baekhyun turned back to his wheel when he heard the door open and a flustered Jongin appeared again.

“I'm sorry, Sehun moved and I don't know where. Can you tell me the address?” Jongin asks quietly, almost shyly. 

And this time Baekhyun actually burst out laughing. 

* * *

_ A/N: (I'm switching to present tense from now on, because past tense is so hard to write) _

* * *

“Hyung, stop doing that,” Sehun whines as Baekhyun gags at his lovey dovey brother for the nth time. Chanyeol pecks Sehun’s cheek in amusement as Baekhyun gags again. This time he punches Baekhyun on his shoulder and pulls Chanyeol away through the crowd of unfamiliar faces drinking and talking animatedly. Baekhyun finds himself alone again and decides to get himself another drink, smiling at the few people he recognizes. A lot of the new faces are probably freshmen who jumped in at the chance to party at The Sehun and The Chanyeol’s place. 

Baekhyun finds himself in the kitchen, and squeezes through the crowd to the counter. He looks between the soju and the beer thinking hard. He feels sweat trickle down his back, and unconsciously pulls his sleeves over his wrist. His crewneck would probably be soaked when he leaves but as long as it did it’s job in covering his countdown, Baekhyun doesn’t care. He finally opts for a beer hoping it would be cold. It’s not.

Baekhyun pouts in disappointment and turns around to find an extremely gorgeous Jongin watching him. His loose fitting black tee halfway tucked into the front of a pair of perfectly fit blue jeans was a complete contrast to his warm look from this afternoon. His hair was styled in a messy but somewhat perfect way. Baekhyun isn’t sure if the boy is actually glowing or if he’s imagining it.

“Hey,” Baekhyun offers, accompanied with a slightly flustered smile.

Jongin nods in response with a smile that although completely innocent, makes Baekhyun want to turn around and run. He feels so small in his stupid sweater and jeans compared to Jongin’s enormous presence. Was this really the shy and flustered Jongin that he met earlier? Baekhyun freezes in place as Jongin walks over. He leans in and Baekhyun holds his breath as Jongin leans into him, his hand stretching to the countertop behind him as he grabs something. 

Jongin stands straight again and places a cold beer in Baekhyun’s hand.

“You should breathe,” Jongin says with a smile and walks away to someone calling his name. 

“Fucking flirt,” Baekhyun mutters as he finally breathes out, annoyed he hadn’t noticed that he wasn’t breathing. 

Yeah, he was going to get wasted tonight as well.

* * *

Baekhyun is on maybe his fifth can of beer— no, probably more when his phone vibrates in his pocket for the millionth time. He glares at the caller ID. 

_ Mom _

Baekhyun blinks hard at his screen and pushes off the girl pushing up against the side of his body. The party is still loud, more than half of them are on the verge of blacking out but the party doesn’t seem to be ending soon. He needs air. 

Baekhyun makes his way to the backyard, which is surprisingly empty, and sits down on the swinging sofa. Sehun really is a spoiled little brat and Baekhyun tries not to get jealous but fails yet again. He takes a deep breath and picks up his phone.

“ _ Baekhyun honey, are you okay? Why weren’t you picking up?” _

“Yeah I was busy, what happened, why’d you call”

“ _ Don’t be like that, I’m allowed to call my son whenever I want.” _

Baekhyun audibly sighs. Even after all these years, his mom feels the need to act like she actually cares about him.

“Mom.”

He hears her let out a breath on the other end. 

_ “Baekhyun, I was speaking to the doctor this afternoon.” _

No, not this again. Weariness seeps into his bones and Baekhyun’s just tired. He’s tired of every doctor prodding at him in the name of curing him when they were just fascinated about their new lab rat. And of course his mom calls him for the first time in months only to sell his body to another doctor. 

“Mom, please.”

_ “Just hear me out. The doctor— well he’s actually a surgeon, he said he’s been researching you for years and he said he’s figured it out. It’s a simple surgery and he said he’ll give us a donation if we let him do it.” _

“Are you short on money?” Baekhyun asks, his irritation growing as he looks out at the massive backyard adorned with decorations— all paid for by their parents. 

_ “Baekhyun I’m not doing this for the money.” _

“Mom, please stop. Sehun told me Dad lost some money in investments.” He feels his cheeks burn despite the bite of the chilly midnight wind. 

_ “Is it so hard to accept that we care about you? The money helps a little, yes, but we’re doing this for you.” _

Baekhyun remains silent, pushing down his anger and sorrow as his eyes start to glaze over with tears. It’s good he’s having this conversation when he’s drunk. The alcohol really numbs the pain. He hears his mom’s anger rise. Ironic.

_ “Baekhyun, you have to stop acting like this. And what if we need the money, is it that hard to help your parents a little? We’re also helping you.” _

“Help? If you wanted help you should’ve just asked me. As for me, I’m not asking for your help. It didn’t help then and it’s not going to help now.” Oddly, his voice remains steady almost as if his body is trying its best not to ruin their relationship. His mom's voice starts to rise in irritation.

_ “Baekhyun, we  _ are _ helping you, we’re trying to make you the perfect boy you always wanted to be, we’re trying to fix you.” _

Silence surrounds him as he hears his mom fumble to take back what she said. The world slows down around him. He knew deep down that his parents saw him as a defective product that could never be perfect, that needed fixing. But hearing it—

“Goodnight mom,” Baekhyun says and ends the call.

Tears fall from his eyes but he feels numb. He isn’t surprised and he already knew it deep down but everyday he finds out through another person that he isn't good enough and it… it hurts. 

* * *

Baekhyun doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting outside but the sounds of the party seem to be slowing down so it’s probably been a while. Baekhyun still feels the buzz of the alcohol in his system and he’s thankful for it. He stares at his wrist, the number flipping. He’s pretty curious if it’ll stop one day and maybe that’s when he’ll find his soulmate. The thought of it makes him laugh, he can’t believe he still has hope for a soulmate when he’s the only one in the world with a botched up countdown. 

The sliding door pushes open and he watches with droopy, drunk eyes as Jongin walks into the chilly air. His tee isn’t tucked in anymore and the styling in his hair has disappeared. Baekhyun can imagine a hot girl running his hands over his body, mussing his hair as they made out. Jongin’s body must’ve been delightfully muscled and glowing with his sweat. Baekhyun’s cheeks heat up and he instantly chokes on the air trying to push the thought out of his mind. Jongin jumps at the noise, turning to find a red and very drunk Baekhyun choking on the seat. 

“Are you okay?” Jongin asks, concerned and rushing to pat Baekhyun on his back. 

The sofa swings as Jongin sits next to him. Baekhyun quickly settles himself and nods in response. Jongin lets out a small breath of relief and leans back into the cushion. 

“You seem awfully drunk.” Jongin starts. 

Baekhyun isn’t really in the mood to have a conversation so he hums quietly in response. They sit in silence for who knows how long. Jongin seems to radiate warmth and Baekhyun silently inches closer to relish the heat.

“How long have you been out here?” Jongin offers again.

“I don’t know, aren’t you cold?” Baekhyun asks his voice a little raspy from crying and drowsiness. 

“I’m used to the cold, I used to be a figure skater... Baekhyun you’re—”

Baekhyun notices how close he had inched towards Jongin and was practically all over him in the name of warmth. Baekhyun pushes himself away, nearly groaning at the loss of heat. His ears turn a brighter shade of red as he stumbles to go back inside. 

“I-I’m so sorry, I’ll just—” 

Jongin reaches out and holds onto Baekhyun’s wrist.

“No it’s okay, sit down.” He says, albeit a bit hesitant, almost as if he’s scared Baekhyun will run away. 

His mind starts to fog a little as he sits back down— no, Jongin makes him lay down with his head on Jongin’s lap. He could almost swear he was going to explode because of all the blood rising to his head. Jongin starts caressing Baekhyun’s shoulder and to his surprise he relaxes into the touch. 

“Were you crying?” Jongin asks and Baekhyun is surprised that he waited this long to ask when his eyes are so obviously red and puffy.

Baekhyun stays silent but turns his head on Jongin’s lap to look up at him. His hair hangs around his face as he looks down at him. Jongin slowly reaches to touch under Baekhyun’s eyes. 

“They’re red.” Jongin says quietly as he rubs his thumb against Baekhyun's cheek.

Baekhyun lets out a quiet breath. Jongin pushes Baekhyun’s hair out of his face and continues to caress his face. Time seems to tick slower as they watch each other. Baekhyun leans deeper into the warmth with every second, scared it might leave him. 

“You’re really pretty, you know?” Jongin says as his hand slides to Baekhyun’s hair, now playing with it. 

Baekhyun lets out a drunk giggle.

“And you’re not so smooth at flirting, you know?” Baekhyun says mid-laugh.

“Hey, I’m good at flirting,” Jongin says with a slight pout, sulky from embarrassment.

“Sure, if you say so.” Baekhyun sighs, the smile still on his face. 

He wants to reach up and touch Jongin’s perfect looking face as well but closes his eyes, supressing the urge. 

“I’m sleepy,” Baekhyun mumbles.

“Sleep. Don’t forget this again though.” 

“Hmmm, okay pretty boy.” Baekhyun says, the words feeling oddly familiar. 

He hears a barely audible  _ good night  _ as he slips into oblivion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know if the length of the chapters are comfortable enough to read!


	3. trois

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this is a weird chapter. Fluff next chapter🤞

Baekhyun wakes up on Sehun’s couch to the smell of coffee. He makes his way to the kitchen to find Sehun pouring himself a cup of the dark brown liquid. He glances at Baekhyun, who plops down on a chair at the small dining table. 

“Good morning,” Sehun says with a smile which almost looks like a smirk. “I noticed you had a great night.” 

Baekhyun rubs his eyes and looks at his brother in confusion. He hands Baekhyun a cup of coffee and sits down across him. 

“You vanished the whole night and the next time I saw you Jongin was laying you down on the sofa and you were practically glowing in his arms.”

“So you just assumed I had sex with him.” Baekhyun took a sip of his coffee, rolling his eyes to hide the blush creeping on his ears as he remembered Jongin’s hand playing with his hair. 

“That was Kim Jongin, you know? He’s slept with nearly every person who’s piqued his interest. And with the way he looked at you, I figured you were one of them.”

That had to be a lie, there was no way the warm golden boy from yesterday was a player. But he was seemingly perfect so Baekhyun wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case.

“Well I didn’t sleep with him and don’t plan to either, so drop it. Plus he’s my neighbor, that would be awkward.”

Sehun looks surprised at the “neighbor” relationship Baekhyun had just revealed but decides to let it slide after noticing the lazy look on his face that Sehun knew meant the conversation was over. 

Baekhyun leans back in his chair and lets out a breath as he looks up at the ceiling. Drinking two nights in a row was not a good idea and Baekhyun has a pounding headache to prove it. Chanyeol enters the kitchen and gives Baekhyun a sleepy nod as he sits next to Sehun. They start talking in a soft voice and Baekhyun blocks it out and closes his eyes. 

Unsurprisingly, Jongin’s face appears in front of him. Again. 

Baekhyun lets out a very audible groan, catching the attention of the couple deep in conversation, and gets up to look for his jacket. 

“I’ll see you guys later.” He says as he picks up his phone and jacket.

“Wait Hyung.” 

Baekhyun stops at Sehun’s voice and he already knows what this is going to be about. 

“Hyung, I heard from mom about—”

“Have a good day,” Baekhyun says with a smile and leaves, ignoring Sehun’s deep sigh and Chanyeol’s reassurance to his boyfriend not to lose hope or some bullshit along those lines.

He doesn’t bother contacting them for the next week.

* * *

The chilly air snaps at his skin as he pulls his jacket tighter. He’d been walking for a while now so Baekhyun nearly sags in relief when he notices an empty bench that wasn’t occupied by a fated couple enjoying a date at the park. It’s too cold already and the green leaves are starting to color with orange and yellow as fall approaches. He should be at the studio firing his glazed pieces but here he was. The cold always seems to soothe him but this time Baekhyun can’t help but hope for some warmth that approached him as it did with Jongin last week. 

Baekhyun quickly shakes his head to clear the thought and begins his walk home. As he nears his building he notices a line of children just loitering in front of his house. The teacher at the front seems to be dealing with a minor crisis a kid had and the rest of the children are just obediently waiting in line behind. Must be some kind of field trip. They’re all about five to six years old and Baekhyun can’t help but smile at their energy and giggling. He notices a few of them shivering and can’t help but shudder himself. A little girl sitting on the sidewalk catches his eye as she just stares intently at the numbers on her wrist. 

Baekhyun decides to ignore it as he walks to the teacher and offers to let them sit in his bookstore while she sorts out the situation. She gladly agrees. 

He waits for the last of the kids to get inside and sit on the couches and chairs in the front and closes the door behind him. The teacher is on the phone and the kids are all going crazy and well, they were being kids. 

The girl from earlier is still staring at her wrist while she simultaneously looks for a place to sit. She nearly trips into a bookshelf but Baekhyun holds her back. 

“Hey, careful.” He says as he crouches down next to her to see if she’s okay. 

She immediately looks at him with the widest eyes and her tiny mouth forms a circle. 

“Are you my soulmate??!!” She asks, expectant.

Baekhyun can’t help but laugh. He grins at the child and pats her head.

“What in god’s name made you think that?” He asks, glancing down at her countdown. It was ending in the next few days. 

“Mommy said I’d meet my soulmate soon, so I thought it was you.” She said, a huge pout forming on her lips, disappointed. Baekhyun had felt that disappointment before, although it was weird that he was on the other side of that disappointment this time. And it’s from a six-year-old. 

“You have to wait till it turns to zero and then you and your soulmate will get a really pretty tattoo. That’s when you’ll know who your soulmate is.” Baekhyun explains, trying to help her curious child’s mind understand. 

Baekhyun hears the bell at the door ring as a customer walks into the unusually loud bookstore. He looks up and sees a very confused Mingyu and Jongin holding three cups of coffee. Baekhyun and Jongin’s eyes meet, but he quickly looks back at the child. 

“But what if my soulmate is not as pretty as you?” She says and Baekhyun laughs again, ignoring the eyes he feels on his back. 

“Listen, whoever your soulmate is, they will be perfect for you and you will think so too. So when you meet them, you’ll completely forget about me.” 

She shrugs and turns when her name is called by a group of girls. Chaeyoung. He stays crouching as he watches her reach her friends and talk very animatedly only for them to turn and stare at him. He gives them a full grin, his eyes becoming crescents, and laughs as they start giggling and turning red. 

“Looks like you’re a hit in all ages.” 

Baekhyun looks up and sees Jongin holding out a cup of coffee with an amused smile on his face. 

“What can I say? Can’t blame me for having such a prized asset,” Baekhyun says gesturing towards his own face. Baekhyun gets up and takes the coffee from Jongin. 

“You’re not wrong.” He replies, somewhat shocked at Baekhyun’s cockiness. 

Baekhyun leans back on the wall and Jongin joins him. They both watch Mingyu approach the teacher to offer help and then continue to try to get the kids to stay still. He glances towards Baekhyun and gives him a huge pout as three children pull at his long legs and try to climb him. Baekhyun laughs.

“Are you good with kids?” Jongin asks.

“Hmmm, I don’t know. I do like kids but I’ve never had the responsibility for one so I’d never know.” Baekhyun could never have children of his own and there was no denying that. First, he’d have to have a soulmate, and second, it would have to be a woman. But he couldn’t even get past the first part of it so what was the point. “What about you? For some reason, I can never imagine you with kids.” 

“Oh, you’d be surprised. I’d like to think I’m pretty good with kids. I have a niece and a nephew and I’d buy the world for them if I could.” He replies. 

“What’s stopping you? I thought you were an accomplished figure skater, that must have paid good money. Right?” Baekhyun asks, remembering the mention of figure skating from his drunken encounter with him. 

“Well I  _ was  _ one, I’m back in university now. I quit.” 

Baekhyun imagines the boy gliding and spinning over the smooth ice and it just makes  _ sense _ . That must explain his perfect body proportions. Baekhyun spirals down his imagination again, completely forgetting Jongin’s presence. Mingyu’s mom took the two of them skating when they were young and though he barely remembers it he’s confident he can keep his balance on the ice if he were to go once again. Maybe he’d go with Jongin one day and be able to see the beautiful Jongin skating with his own eyes.

“Hyung?” 

Baekhyun snaps out of it and immediately flushes at the idea of him skating holding Jongin’s hand. 

_ He’s your neighbor. And you met him barely a week ago.  _ Baekhyun tells himself.

Not to mention, Baekhyun knows he doesn’t harbor any romantic feelings towards Jongin. His soul was just jumping onto the first sign of affection. He mentally slaps himself and now notices the empty bookstore with Mingyu completely passed out on the reading sofa in the front. Jongin’s looking at him from beside him and Baekhyun— 

He doesn’t know what to do as he looks at the boy in the hoodie looking right into his eyes. Baekhyun pushes his hands into his pockets, clenching his nails hard against his palms as he rejects the urge to push the black bangs out of Jongin’s eyes. 

“Uhm, so I guess I’ll get going then? I have to meet up with some people for a project.” Jongin looks equally flustered but apparently at the fact that Baekhyun has been quietly staring at him for a while. 

Oh, he’s leaving. Baekhyun digs his nails deeper into his palms as he realizes he wants Jongin to stay longer. 

“Okay, I’ll see you later then.” He replies with a smile and watches the boy leave. 

As Baekhyun walks back to the studio he convinces himself that it was right to let him go. He would just be pushing himself deeper into the bottomless ditch if he’d made the pretty boy stay. 

Yes, he was right. 

Yes. 

* * *

**Sehun**

do you wanna come to my place for dinner

**Baekhyun**

what’re you getting?

**Sehun**

Pizza. We’ll call over some other friends too. It’s not a party.

**Baekhyun**

I’ll be there.

Baekhyun locks his phone and goes back to filling in book orders. It took him about three days to get busy enough to stop thinking about  _ you know who.  _ The fact that he hadn’t run into him at all ever since just made it easier for Baekhyun to believe he was just admiring the first boy he saw after a breakup. He hears the front door open and looks up to see two handsome men. 

“Hi,” the first man says. He looks much more outgoing than the second man, who was currently looking through a bookshelf through his rounded glasses. 

“Hi, can I help you with anything?” Baekhyun asks, looking back at the first man. 

“Can we only buy books here or can we sit and read too?”

“Oh, feel free to sit anywhere and relax. But please make sure you don’t damage any books.”

“For sure, thank you so much.” The man says with a smile. 

He notices the man’s eyes flit down to Baekhyun’s countdown. Sure it was a little impolite but it was every person’s instinct to look at it when they met someone new. The second man notices the silence and looks down at Baekhyun’s countdown too and Baekhyun wants to run and hide but this is his store. The first man seems to realize who he is.

“Oh you’re—” he starts.

“Soonyoung let’s go start, we have a lot to work on.” The second man interrupts, nodding at Baekhyun in greeting and pulling the first man towards the sofas hidden behind the bookshelves at the back. 

He hears the hushed scolding Soonyoung receives from the other. He decides to let it go. Other people have been much ruder so this didn’t faze him. If he was in Soonyoung’s shoes he probably would have acted the same.

Now that he thinks about it, Jongin has never questioned his countdown. Does he even know? Or does he just choose to not care? Regardless, it was the first time Baekhyun knew someone for more than a week and did not have them question it. As far as Baekhyun had seen Jongin’s countdown, his soulmate was quite a few days away, probably seven months. He must be a player if he was out here flirting with Baekhyun with less than a year on his countdown. But then again Baekhyun had dated people right up to a week until they met their perfect other half.

He remembers his first girlfriend. Baekhyun had the most hope with her staying with him regardless of her quickly approaching soulmate. She dated him up until the day before, building his hope just as much. But Baekhyun was nothing compared to her soulmate when she met his eyes. While he meant nothing to her, she was the world to him.

And running away from his house was how Baekhyun dealt with it. And to this day, it was the best decision he’s made. He never belonged in his family anyway. And thanks to Mingyu’s obsession with Baekhyun since birth, he was accepted in Mingyu’s house more than he ever was in his own house. 

Baekhyun’s phone vibrates in his pocket and it’s Sehun, asking where he was because they’re going to start eating without him. Baekhyun realizes how dark it is already as he looks out the glass storefront and figures he should close up now.

He makes his way to the back of the store and finds the two boys on the sofa. Soonyoung is fast asleep on the other’s lap. He absentmindedly plays with Soonyoung’s hair as he reads a book. Baekhyun almost doesn’t want to break the calm but he has to go. He tries to signal to the boy and mouths that he has to close up. The boy notices and slowly tries to wake Soonyoung up. He mumbles  _ Wonwoo  _ in his sleep and the other one, who apparently goes by that name, assures Soonyoung that he’s there and wakes him up. Baekhyun feels awkward as he stands there and watches the couple, trying hard not to realize that he was in the same position with Jongin less than two weeks ago. 

* * *

It isn't too cold out so Baekhyun had opted for a sweater vest. It’s not like Sehun is having an actual party. He didn’t even bother to comb his hair which was long enough to start covering his eyes now. He runs his fingers through it as he enters Sehun’s house, the place already drenched with the smell of greasy pizza. Sehun rushes past him into the kitchen and gestures that he should go get some pizza. He nods and makes his way to the living room where he finds three boxes of pizza splayed open on the coffee table.

He recognizes Jongdae, Minseok, and the transfer student Yixing shoveling themselves with the food. They all face the television watching intently. Baekhyun notices another group of voices in the kitchen but ignores it as he joins the boys around the table. They’re watching what seems to be an anime about tennis. 

Baekhyun is almost done with his slice of pizza, completely immersed in the movie he’s watched a dozen times already, as he hears footsteps. The group from the kitchen emerges and sets a ton of cans onto the table. They all block the TV in the process, earning a  _ MOVEEE  _ from Minseok. Baekhyun leans to the side to catch a glimpse of the match playing out behind the group. The sofa sinks beside him and he glances over to find Jongin sipping from a can of sprite. His dark hair is splayed across his forehead, he must’ve just taken a shower. He’s wearing a pale purple hoodie and black sweatpants. His bare face shines in the light the TV emits. Everything about him screams soft and Baekhyun feels like screaming as well.

Sehun never said he was inviting Jongin. He never has before. Baekhyun completely forgets about the movie as he looks at Jongin wide-eyed, surprised. Jongin glances up from his can and looks back at Baekhyun quizzically. Baekhyun looks away, his eyes on the screen. 

_ God, why am I so awkward? _

This isn’t a big deal, so why is he so surprised to see Jongin? He’d seen him three days ago. Baekhyun decides to blame it on his insanely large presence and his ability to always look perfect and tries to concentrate on the TV again. He has to focus on his breathing for some reason. He feels another person sit down on his other side and he looks to find an unfamiliar face next to him. The man is relatively shorter than him and he has an almost elegant face.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around here,” Baekhyun starts, mostly for distraction.

“I could say the same.” The man responds, his voice a little deeper than Baekhyun had expected.

“Oh, I’m Baekhyun, Sehun’s brother.” 

He nods, his full lips shifting into a small smile.

“I’m Kyungsoo. I’m Jongin’s roommate.” 

_ The what? _

He feels Jongin lean around him to look at Kyungsoo. Baekhyun holds his breath at how close Jongin is behind him.

“I never said yes to that,” Jongin says to Kyungsoo, and Baekhyun forces himself to lean into the sofa to put more distance between them. He wants to slap himself at how he reacts to  _ everything  _ Jongin does but he shoves more pizza into his mouth instead. So much for a distraction.

They argue a bit longer, Baekhyun awkwardly stuck between them trying to eat. Jongin finally turns to face him and every ounce of Baekhyun’s existence screams to ruffle his hair. Baekhyun looks at him wide-eyed, realizing he’s saying something to him but for some reason, none of Jongin’s words register in his mind. So he just nods. Jongin nods and smiles softly before getting up and waiting for him. 

_ Did he just say yes to something? _

Too embarrassed to ask Jongin what he said yes to, Baekhyun gets up and follows him. He looks at Kyungsoo who is now focused on the TV. He realizes they’re going outside for something as he follows Jongin to the backyard. The breeze is pleasant and the cloudy sky has cleared up to reveal an array of stars. Baekhyun steps onto the soft grass and watches in confusion as Jongin lays onto the grass and stares up at the sky. He looks back at a very confused Baekhyun standing over him. 

“I’m so sorry, I have no idea what we’re doing here.” Baekhyun finally says after a full minute of not knowing what the hell he agreed to. 

Jongin sits up, embarrassed. 

“Oh, I asked if you wanted to get some fresh air. It’s really okay if you don’t want to.” He says, his ears turning a shade of red.

“Oh, it’s okay, I’ll stay,” Baekhyun says and sits on the grass next to jongin and then lays down and watches the clouds drift in the sky.

Jongin joins him and their shoulders are touching but they both decide to enjoy the closeness. It’s silent but it’s a comfortable kind of silence. Baekhyun enjoys Jongin’s presence and it seems like Jongin does too. At least Baekhyun hopes so. Being with Jongin soothes him more than any warm cup of coffee would. 

Baekhyun lets Jongin play with his hand when he feels their hands touching. Jongin’s fingers slip between his own as they watch clouds gather around the moon. His hand is warm and big compared to his slender one. He feels their palms press together and their fingers tangle as Jongin squeezes his hand slightly. 

He knows. He knows Jongin likes him and if they had met at a different time, if Baekhyun was a different person he wouldn’t hesitate to fall in love with the man. And he also knows deep down that Jongin is everything Baekhyun sees in his imaginary soulmate. Jongin is perfect for Baekhyun. But Baekhyun would never be Jongin’s perfect one. 

And as his fingers intertwine with Jongin’s, he holds on a little tighter. Because Jongin would turn a page and have a whole chapter of perfection waiting for him. But this is where it ends for Baekhyun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is only the 3rd chapter but please comment who you think is top and bottom. I'm losing my mind over it.


	4. quatre

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kinda wish i had a schedule

Baekhyun and Jongin had walked in on Kyungsoo crying over the tennis anime and now they lean against the sofa as his sniffles quiet down. Sehun had eyed them when they returned after disappearing together and all Baekhyun can do is pray that Sehun won’t ask him about it later. Jongin starts drinking and Baekhyun had never seen him drunk before so he wonders how high his alcohol tolerance is.

As the gathering quiets down with everyone getting tired and full, the weight of the pizza dragging them into laziness, he notices Kyungsoo resting his head on Jongin’s shoulder. Jongin decides to make the position more comfortable and moves his arm around the sleepy Kyungsoo’s shoulder. Baekhyun shudders for some reason and quickly looks away. He should leave.

He doesn’t bother saying bye to Jongin and just nods to Sehun on his way out. He feels Jongin’s eyes on his back as he leaves and he desperately tries to shake it off. He makes his way straight to his studio. He has to work on some commissions and practice as well. He’d applied for an exhibition that would take place next year and if he gets accepted he has to prove why he’s worthy of being the center in the exhibition. It’s good that they give a long amount of time to practice, prepare, and create their pieces. But that didn’t matter if he didn’t get accepted. 

Baekhyun uses the backdoor to enter the studio, unwilling to unlock the store but he decides to switch the lights on to illuminate the street so that anyone walking outside this late would feel a little more protected. The exhibition would be a good opportunity for him in building his career. It was being hosted by a very reputable art gallery and if he gets in, his career would just go uphill from there.

Baekhyun changes into a comfortable t-shirt that he keeps under the counter and wears his apron. He’s walking out of the damp storage room with a block of clay when he hears footsteps and nearly drops the clay. A completely drunk Jongin staggers through the back door and Baekhyun watches as he kicks off his shoes and stumbles towards Baekhyun. His ears and cheeks are a bright red color and his long bangs hang messily on his forehead.

“Why’d you change your clothes? You looked so—” a hiccup, “cute in that sweater vest.” Jongin’s words are very slurred and Baekhyun lets out a sigh to avoid flushing at the compliment.

“Jongin, what are you doing here?” Baekhyun doesn’t have the energy to deal with him right now. His mind is numb and the last thing he wants is Jongin running through it. 

“I saw the lights on and thought you’d—” he hiccups, “be here.”

“I’m always here. That’s not the point. Did you want something from me?” He’s kind of annoyed and he’s trying his best not to show it.

“Oh, I— just. I thought.” Jongin is stumbling over his own words.

“Yes?”

“I wanted to walk you home,” he says in a barely audible voice. 

And just like that, Jongin makes him speechless, even in a drunken state.

“I think you should go upstairs and take some rest.” Baekhyun finally says after watching a hazy Jongin struggle to maintain his balance. 

Jongin’s eyes shift to the block of clay in Baekhyun’s hands.

“Are you going to do pottery? Can I please watch?” His eyes widen as he pleads. Is he really making puppy eyes at Baekhyun right now? He holds a finger up to his soft lips and starts to whisper. “I promise I’ll be quiet. Pleeeaaasseeee.”

Baekhyun wants to pet the boy. It’s not his fault Jongin looks so tiny all of a sudden. Yet again his duality shocks Baekhyun and he doesn’t know how to react so he chuckles a little and nods in response. Jongin watches him make his way to the wheel and tiptoes behind him. Baekhyun smiles quietly as he sits on the stool on the floor. Jongin sits next to him on the floor and pulls his legs to his chest, his finger still on his lips.  _ Cute,  _ Baekhyun thinks to himself.

Baekhyun starts kneading the hard clay to soften and remove the air bubbles. It’s quiet just like Jongin had promised, but when Baekhyun turns to look at him he finds Jongin staring right at him and not at the clay. 

“What are you looking at?” Baekhyun asks quietly.

“You, I asked if I could watch you.” 

Baekhyun flushes at that. He had no idea that’s what he meant, but he was too flustered to do anything about it.

“Why?” He asks.

Jongin puts his finger against Baekhyun’s lips this time and whispers  _ sshhhhh.  _

Baekhyun nods and turns back to his clay and continues to knead it. He finally begins after wetting his hands and the clay. He pushes the pedal on the wheel and the room is filled with the silent whirring of the machine. He gets a feel of the clay and starts pushing the wet clay with his thumb. He almost forgets that Jongin is watching him as he begins to immerse himself in his work. 

He hears Jongin move but it happens too fast he isn’t able to react. And then he feels Jongin's lips against his cheek, leaving a kiss. His thumb pushes into the vase he’s creating in reflex and the piece flattens on the wheel. Baekhyun’s eyes widen as he turns around to find Jongin breathing so close to him. He looks into Jongin’s hooded eyes and every drop of blood in his body rushes up to his cheek. 

“I love that mole so much,” he whispers and leans in and presses his lips onto the mole again. Baekhyun stands up this time, his clay-covered hand holding his cheek, covering the mole in clay as well. He sees Jongin’s face scrunch up and his heart starts pounding in his chest, threatening to break out. 

“Y-You’re drunk,” Baekhyun says, trying to make excuses more to himself than to Jongin. “You should leave, it’s late.”

Jongin stands up still very close to Baekhyun, their breaths mingling between them. His hand reaches up and cups Baekhyun’s face. He smudges off the wet clay on Baekhyun’s face and leans in. Baekhyun prepares himself again but Jongin rests his head on the crook between his shoulder and his neck, his hands wrapping around Baekhyun’s waist.

“Okay, good night.” He whispers against his neck and Baekhyun feels Jongin smile against his skin. Baekhyun’s body shudders and his hair stands up. 

“J-Jongin?” He finally says after realizing that Jongin isn’t moving.

He doesn’t respond. Did he fall asleep? Baekhyun can’t breathe. What the hell just happened?

But Baekhyun can’t do anything as he realizes that the more he runs from Jongin, the faster Jongin runs after him.

* * *

Baekhyun wakes up to the doorbell ringing. He quickly checks his phone and realizes it’s almost noon. Mingyu was opening today so it should be fine. He pulls on a large hoodie to accompany his shorts as he makes his way to the door. His eyes are half open and puffy and his hair is a complete mess.

He opens the door to find no one there. Then he looks down and finds Jongin on his knees, his head lowered and hands raised above his head holding a cup of coffee. 

“I’m so sorry Hyung,” he says, his voice full of shame. “I was completely drunk, I swear I didn’t—”

“It’s okay Jongin, get up,” Baekhyun says, a crooked smile on his face. 

He must’ve just run back after his classes and grabbed a coffee on the way. He’s wearing a t-shirt with an oversized sweater cardigan on top along with his backpack. He looks like everything Baekhyun wishes he had looked like in his mopey college days.

Jongin gets up, an ashamed pout on his face as he clutches the coffee in his hand. Baekhyun takes it from him and walks back inside, leaving the door open for Jongin to follow. He hears Jongin take off his shoes and then look around at the apartment. He almost looks shocked at Baekhyun’s choice of decoration. 

“Different from what you expected?” Baekhyun asks, taking a sip of the coffee and sitting down on the sofa in the living room. The coffee seems to be the same one as last time and it’s exactly what Baekhyun needs to be honest. Jongin plops down at the other end of the sofa as he throws his backpack on the small counter in the kitchen. 

“Yeah, but in a good way. I was thinking your house would be dark and all covered up, but there’s more sunlight than I thought, more than my own apartment to be honest.” 

“I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment or feel bad that I seem like that kind of person,” Baekhyun laughs softly. Jongin fidgets with his fingers before he looks up at Baekhyun and sighs. 

“I’m sorry Hyung. I know you’re not looking for a relationship and I forced myself onto you last night. It was my fault I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to pressure you when you have work and family problems already pressing down on you.” 

Wait… 

Baekhyun doesn’t recall opening up to Jongin or anyone for that matter about his family issues and he feels embarrassed because Jongin is the last person he wants knowing how fucked up his life is.

“Who told you about that?” Baekhyun asks, his face turning more serious. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I did it again. Forget I said that, please. I just guessed.” His words rush out as his eyes widen. He’s so obviously lying. Baekhyun gives him a sad smile.

“Jongin, just tell me. You have no idea how embarrassing this is for me.” Baekhyun says, fidgeting with the lace hanging from his hoodie. Jongin’s face falls.

“It’s just that Sehun wanted me to convince you to meet up with a doctor of some sort so that your countdown could be fixed.” He finally says and Baekhyun digs his nails into his palm. 

“So… do you think so too?” Baekhyun asks, looking away from Jongin and swirling his coffee in his cup. 

“Think what?” Jongin asks, his eyes wide.

“That I should do it? That I need to be fixed?” Baekhyun says in the smallest voice. 

“Are you crazy Hyung?” Jongin’s voice is loud and echoes through the apartment.

Baekhyun looks up to find Jongin staring at him, his eyebrows raised in shock. Baekhyun just looks back at him expecting further explanation after his sudden outburst.

“ _ Do I think you need fixing,  _ no I don’t. I think you’re perfect and I turned Sehun down for a reason. I wouldn’t change a thing about you and you’re crazy for thinking that way.” 

Baekhyun can’t move, he can’t breathe. Twenty plus years of living and this is the first time anyone has called him perfect. 

“You like me, that’s why you’re saying that.” Baekhyun breathes out. There is no reason Jongin should find him perfect when his soulmate was on their way.

“Are you really going to invalidate my thoughts to that?” Jongin says, immediately turning shy and looking away. 

Baekhyun can’t think straight so he reaches across the sofa and holds Jongin’s hand. Jongin looks down at their hands and then at Baekhyun’s face. 

“Thank you Jongin. But I’m sorry, you can’t— you can’t like me.”

“But you didn’t even give me a chance.” He says, his voice almost a whimper.

“Jongin we both know what will happen. And I’m not ready to face another heartbreak when your soulmate comes along.”

“So… you’re saying that in a world with no countdowns and no soulmates, I’d stand a chance. That you would date me. What if I said I don’t care about my soulmate and ask that you go on just one date with me.”

Baekhyun’s face gets darker and he lets go of Jongin’s hand and sits up.

“Jongin. Never  _ ever  _ say that you don’t care about your soulmate. Don’t ever think of your soulmate so lightly. I would sell my soul just to get a chance to have one. Never say that again.”

Jongin stays quiet. Baekhyun sips his coffee again as he cools down a little. Jongin was right, in a world without countdowns and soulmates he’d be pushing Jongin down and kissing his soul out of his body. But they’re stuck in this world and nothing would ever change that.

“I’m sorry. I’m just making your morning worse.” Jongin says in the tiniest voice and Baekhyun feels his heart rip at that. 

“No, don’t apologize. Our relationship doesn’t have to change. I think you’re an amazing person still.” Baekhyun offers up a small smile. Jongin responds with a half-hearted smile and Baekhyun hates seeing the boy so upset. 

“So how was your class this morning? I never signed up for morning classes when I went to your university.” Baekhyun says, trying to shift the mood.

“It was alright, she let us out early though so I was working most of the morning,” Jongin replies, shrugging. 

“Oh, what work do you do?”

“Make the coffee you’re drinking,” Jongin says with a smile, and Baekhyun is genuinely taken aback.

“You made this??? I’ve never even heard of this shop.”

“Yeah, it’s a really small cafe, we do everything by hand. It’s normally empty though so I’m not surprised.” His usual pouty smile returns to his face and Baekhyun feels relieved.

“I really like it, I’ll drop by sometime.”

“Wait a second, I never knew you went to my university,” Jongin says, suddenly turning to look at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun laughs and gets up. He kneels in front of the TV stand and reaches into the shelf underneath, pulling out a photo album. He sits down next to Jongin and opens it, revealing all the photos he took during his university days. 

“NO WAY. That’s you? You look so tiny, and your hair’s so short. You look like a high schooler.” Jongin says in amazement, leaning forward to peer at the photos. 

They flip through photos of Baekhyun mainly goofing around with Jongdae and Chanyeol. One particular photo brings out a burst of laughter from Jongin. It’s of Suho Hyung asleep on a chair and they had all decided to wrap him in duct tape and trap him in the chair. The pictures captured the entire sequence of Chanyeol tiptoeing around him as Baekhyun concentrated on wrapping the tape around his legs.

“You guys have karma coming for you based on how much you tormented him.” Jongin pants out after he finishes laughing for a solid two minutes. 

“It’s fine, it’s revenge for all the lame jokes we were forced to listen to.” Baekhyun smiles.

“Oh look, your graduation pictures,” Jongin says, already amazed by looking at the next stage of Baekhyun’s life. 

Baekhyun looks at all the group pictures with his college friends and professors. He’s grinning in all of them and holding the bouquet Sehun had bought him.

“Where’s your family picture?” Jongin asks as they reach the end of the album and Baekhyun flips back to the picture of him and Sehun. 

“My parents couldn’t make it as usual,” Baekhyun says, shrugging it off.

“They’d do this to their own son? I’m sorry.” He says with a pout.

“Don’t be. I’m not their real son, I’m adopted.” Baekhyun smiles softly.

“Oh. I didn’t know.” Jongin says and silence follows.

“I should go open up the studio,” Baekhyun says after a pause. He also needs to take a shower. Baekhyun gets up and places the albums back in the cabinet.

“Can I come with you?” Jongin asks, watching Baekhyun move.

Baekhyun gives him a cocky smile as he walks towards his room.

“Only if you promise not to kiss me this time.” 

Jongin shoots up from his spot and starts whining. 

“Hyuunnggg I said I was sorry.” He says with the biggest pout on his face. And Baekhyun lets out a laugh. It’s been a while since he’s felt this lighthearted.

“I’ll see you there. Lock the door on your way out, I’m going to take a shower.”

And as he closes his bedroom door behind him, he smiles to himself.

* * *

Baekhyun walks into the bookstore to find Mingyu aggressively typing away at his laptop and Jongin lying down on the sofa reading a book. Mingyu is a literature major and all he ever wants to do is become an author before he meets his soulmate. He admired the kid for being so goal-oriented. One of the boys from yesterday, Soonyoung, is also typing away but he’s alone this time, his boyfriend nowhere in sight. Baekhyun nods at him and ushers Jongin to the studio. 

Today was solely a day for practicing as all the pieces from last night were left to bone dry. They were very specific commissions but they were a good distraction from whatever the hell happened last night. 

“Hyung, can I try too? Can you teach me? I would make my parents so proud if I made something even close to the masterpieces you make.” 

Baekhyun laughs and agrees. He calls Jongin over to his supply closet and hands him a potter's apron. Jongin takes off his cardigan and shows off his arms as he pulls on the apron and Baekhyun almost rolls his eyes. 

“So to begin with, the clay has to be kept damp, or else it will dry up.” Baekhyun begins explaining and tours him around the entire studio before he finally arrives at the wheel. Jongin watches intently as Baekhyun kneads the clay and explains that he has to knead until he removes air bubbles. 

He makes a quick bowl to explain the process and gets up so Jongin can try. Baekhyun sits across him on the other side of the wheel as Jongin starts with shaky hands. 

“Just get a feel for the clay first. If your hands are shaky your bowl isn’t going to be symmetrical or even.” Baekhyun says. 

Jongin’s hands continue to shake and Baekhyun smiles and places his hands over Jongin’s clay covered ones to calm them down and they massage the clay together. Baekhyun looks up to find Jongin with red ears trying hard to focus on the clay. 

“That’s much better,” Baekhyun says, letting go of his hands. It’s fun to tease the boy no matter how cruel it may be considering it had been barely a few hours since he turned him down.

“Good, now don’t let the clay get too dry, and try to keep the speed of the wheel consistent.” 

Jongin begins the basic structure of a bowl that he had observed Baekhyun do a few moments ago. Baekhyun takes his eyes off of Jongin for barely a minute and when he looks back he sees Jongin’s sponge drenched in water, as it spills all over the form on the wheel, starting to make the clay a little runny.

“Hyung it’s getting messed up, what do I do!!” Jongin begins to panic. 

Baekhyun is about to help him fix it when he notices Jongin press down harder on the speed pedal in a frenzy. The wheel begins to spin rapidly and the runny clay starts to fly across the room, straight onto their faces.

“Jongin your foot!! Take it off!!” Baekhyun yells trying to avoid the clay spewing from the wheel. 

Jongin removes his foot from the pedal and the wheel slows down. There’s almost no clay left on the wheel itself. But that’s only because half of it is on their faces and torsos while the other half is spewed across the floor, forming a perfect circle of destruction. 

They slowly look at each other and as Baekhyun notices the complete shock that keeps Jongin frozen in place, he bursts out laughing. Jongin’s features relax as he begins to laugh. They look at each other, gasping for breath while their hair and faces are splattered with clay. Jongin falls off his stool as he laughs and they both just lay there, gasping, tears streaming down their faces as they laugh. 

Mingyu bursts in after hearing all the commotion and looks shocked. Not at the obvious destruction. 

But at how much Baekhyun is laughing. Because no one had ever made Baekhyun laugh like that, especially over something so stupid.

And when Mingyu and Baekhyun’s eyes meet, they both know.

Jongin is special.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst next chapter even though i REALLY wanna keep it lighthearted. comment your thoughts, it really motivates me to keep writing :]


	5. cinq

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // suicidal thoughts, violence, blood  
> this chapter can be a little triggering so I put as many tw i can think of. hope you guys enjoy the chapter!!

Jongin had ended up making two bowls. One with bear ears on the rim and the other with puppy ears. He had also made minimalistic decorations with the glazing. Jongin had also made Baekhyun promise that if they ever ate at home together, they would use those bowls. Baekhyun had to agree after he’d seen the puppy eyes and pout Jongin had given him. 

But other than that, Baekhyun is pretty proud of the fact that he hadn’t given into Jongin’s flirting even once in the past week. Jongin certainly hasn’t given up but neither has Baekhyun. 

Baekhyun closes the door behind Wonwoo and Soonyoung, who apparently had chosen his store as their hangout place. Baekhyun had been fascinated by them at one point when he had noticed that while they aren’t soulmates, their countdowns tick down to the exact same time. They must think the possibility of that happening is fate as well. But Baekhyun isn’t willing to wish any bad luck on them because they were cuter than any couple he’d seen. 

Baekhyun closes up even though it’s barely five o’clock. Jongin had asked him to visit his workplace today because he wanted to make Baekhyun a new drink he had been experimenting with. This past week had been one of the happiest weeks he’s ever experienced and everyone around him knew it was because of Jongin.

The sky is dark as heavy clouds loom over the busy streets. The street lights struggle to brighten up the day. A storm is making its way towards the city and everyone rushes to the convenience stores to buy umbrellas. Baekhyun would probably make it back before the storm though.

Baekhyun makes his way to the small cafe and Jongin is right. The cafe is basically a hole in the wall cafe but it’s warm and smells amazing inside. The smell of coffee seeps into his pores as he waits at the counter. 

Jongin rushes out as he hears the small bell at the front door tinkle. A wide smile spreads on his face as he notices Baekhyun. Baekhyun smiles back as he takes his jacket off and places it on a chair. 

“Do you want to come behind the counter and watch? I look pretty hot when I’m working, or so I’ve been told.” He says with a playful grin as he opens the small side door to let him behind. Baekhyun rolls his eyes and follows him. 

“So are you going to make me the drink or what?” Baekhyun asks sarcastically and smiles.

“It only works if we make it together.” Jongin gives Baekhyun an apron and a nod of approval after Baekhyun puts it on. 

“Okay, show me the magic,” Baekhyun says and stands next to Jongin. 

Jongin starts to explain the roasting machine and different tastes the beans can produce, but all Baekhyun can think of is that he _does_ look hot while working. The rain starts to pour outside and Baekhyun realizes he hasn’t been paying attention. Jongin hands him a circular gadget and asks him to try. He’s just going to have to wing it. 

Baekhyun pushes a button and ground coffee pours out of the spout, heaping into a tiny mountain. The machine stops automatically and Jongin hands him something that looks like a hockey puck. Baekhyun uses his knowledge from dramas to figure out he’s supposed to screw it on and flatten the coffee. 

“Have you done this before? You’re pretty good at this.” Jongin says near his ear and Baekhyun realizes just how close together they are in such a cramped place. He glances at Jongin and realizes that he’s looking at Baekhyun’s cheek, where his mole is. His ears turn red and he hands Jongin the tamped coffee. 

“Here, I don’t know what to do with it now,” Baekhyun says and tries to move away. Jongin pulls Baekhyun closer by the waist, and he’s practically hugging him and this point. Baekhyun steadies his breath.

“Careful, you’re going to push over the cups.” Both of them flush and Jongin lets go of Baekhyun. 

He continues making the coffee and Baekhyun helps here and there. When the coffee is finally poured into the warm cups, they take off their aprons and lean against the counter. The shop is illuminated by dim yellow lights that reflect off the watery street in front of the shop. Baekhyun watches the rain patter onto the rushing civilians and takes a sip of his coffee. 

“What the– this is just regular coffee,” Baekhyun says, a confused look on his face. He looks at Jongin as he sips from his coffee as well. 

“I told you it’s a special coffee and it tastes pretty special to me,” He replies with a shrug, still looking out the glass storefront. 

“Are you sure?” Baekhyun takes another sip of the coffee. Again, it’s completely normal.

“Yeah, I made it with you. That’s special enough for me.”

Baekhyun’s jaw almost drops at that. He has to be kidding right? Was this all just a very indirect way of asking him out to coffee? 

“I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not.” 

Jongin turns towards him, his eyes going straight to the mole on Baekhyun’s cheek before looking into his eyes. 

“I mean it. This is the best coffee I’ve ever made.”

“You could have just asked me to get coffee with you.” Baekhyun rolls his eyes.

“Like you would’ve accepted,” Jongin mutters and Baekhyun pouts at the fact that he can’t respond to that. Because he’s right, Baekhyun would have avoided him.

“Do you not like the coffee?” 

“It’s really good. But next time, don’t waste my time like that. Just be honest with me okay?”

Jongin pouts and nods, the atmosphere slightly tense. They spend the rest of the time in silence, sipping coffee and watching the rain. 

* * *

Baekhyun is still quite sulky when he walks home alone. The rain had slowed to a drizzle and he had taken that opportunity to leave. Jongin’s shift doesn’t end for a few hours and Baekhyun is relieved he doesn’t have to walk home with him. Though today was a little awkward, Baekhyun enjoyed it. He learned how to make really good coffee and he got to watch Jongin make it as well. After trying Jongin’s coffee, he doesn’t think he can ever go back to drinking normal coffee. 

Baekhyun reaches the top of the stairs when he notices a figure in front of his door. 

“Dad? Is that you,” Baekhyun asks as he walks towards the man. 

“Ah, Baekhyun, you’re back. Let me in, it’s cold.” His dad replies and Baekhyun wants to turn around and run. But he nods, plasters a smile on his face, and opens the door. 

His dad follows him inside and takes off his coat. His dad’s tall figure was still well maintained and old age didn’t seem to affect his rugged features. Baekhyun turns on the lights, wondering what the man is doing here. Is it about another doctor’s visit?

“Can I get you something to drink?” Baekhyun asks, grateful he cleaned his apartment this morning.

“No, I won’t stay long.” He pauses. “You really took good advantage of that old lady.” He continues as he looks around the apartment, smirking. 

“I rent this place.” Baekhyun clenches his fists. The only reason he ever had to go to Mingyu’s grandmother was because of him.

“Is that so?”

They both settle down on the sofa and Baekhyun decides to stay silent, waiting for the man to start talking about what the hell he’s doing here. He passes Baekhyun a sheet of paper.

“That’s your appointment slip. The appointment is tomorrow and the doctor will do a general checkup before scheduling the surgery.” He says and Baekhyun feels like throwing up. 

Hearing it from his dad’s mouth made it worse. After Baekhyun ran away from the hospital and stayed at Mingyu’s place as a kid, his dad had never said a word about doctors. But hearing it now threw him right back in the hospital bed with the fish in the small bowl being his only companion.

“I– I already said I’m not going to do the surgery.” Baekhyun stutters, his voice quiet. So many years away from this monster and Baekhyun is still scared of him. 

“You can ask Sehun to accompany you if you want, but he might be busy so I wouldn’t rely on that.” The man says, ignoring him. Sehun isn’t the only busy one but Baekhyun doesn’t expect him to understand that.

“I said I’m not going to go. I’m not under your control anymore.” Baekhyun says louder. 

“But you are in our debt.”

Not this again. Baekhyun always stays silent at the mention of how he owes his parents for adopting him. But he has his own life now and other than adopting him, they never helped him. They only ever saw him as something to pimp out to hospitals.

“I’m not doing it.” Baekhyun stands up, more confident now. He crumples the paper in his hand and throws it on the table. 

“What did you say?” The man asks quietly, and Baekhyun can feel the rage rising. He almost flinches. 

“I’m not doing it.” 

And then, the man stands up and slaps Baekhyun with every ounce of force his hands allow. Baekhyun collapses onto the sofa from the force. His cheek burns and his eyes immediately sting. Baekhyun can feel his cheek swelling as he struggles to get back up.

“You owe your life to us, no matter how old you are. You should be grateful we’re getting money from the doctors and not turning you into a prostitute like your mom.”

Baekhyun stills at that. 

This is the first time he’s heard about his real mom.

“What did you say,” Baekhyun asks quietly.

“Your mom was a whore. A murderous slut. No wonder you turned out this way. She killed your dad and then you killed her on your way out. I heard that you go around selling your body, looking for any hole to fuck.” He scoffs. “What was I even expecting from you?” 

He can’t breathe. Baekhyun can’t breathe. He wants to throw up, scream, cry, do anything that will distract him. He never knew anything about his real parents. And he never wanted to find out this way. 

“Tomorrow. Eleven Thirty.” The man spits and walks out the door. 

Baekhyun runs to the bathroom and kneels in front of the toilet as soon as the door slams. He braces his hands on either side of the seat as he hurls out the contents of his stomach. Every inch of his body stings with pain, his face the most. He throws up the coffee, tears flowing down his cheeks at the ache. After he’s done, Baekhyun collapses on the floor, his head hitting the tiles with a slight thud as his body goes limp. The cold tiles add to the stinging as he lays on the floor trying to breathe. 

Baekhyun can’t move his body so he closes his eyes as his face becomes numb. His breathing doesn’t seem to slow down as he gasps for air. 

Maybe the man was right. Maybe this was why he turned out the way he did, why he didn’t have a countdown, and didn’t deserve to. He killed his own mother after she had kept him for nine months. His life would have been completely different if he hadn’t killed his mom. Maybe he would even have a countdown. He’s a murderer. Why is he fighting so hard to live normally anyway? For the first time, Baekhyun is glad he doesn’t share his countdown with anyone. No one deserves to be with him. 

Baekhyun holds his cheek, his mind starts to become numb as well. As he feels the swelling all he can think about is how much Jongin loves the mole on it. 

And how his hands play with Baekhyun’s hair. 

And how he caresses his face.

And how wide his smile is when he notices Baekhyun.

And how much he misses Jongin.

  
  
  


Baekhyun’s body swerves in the rain, his blood intoxicated with alcohol. His mind is completely blank now and his body craves pain. He wants to be hurt. He deserves to be hurt. 

The rain soaks through his sweater and the cold pierces through his bones as he blearily stares at the streetlight. He vaguely remembers throwing his coat away because it smelled like the coffee he made with Jongin. 

As Baekhyun staggers through the dark alleyway he bumps into a tall man. 

“Are you not going to apologize,” the man roughly.

Baekhyun turns to find a group of four rugged men glaring and scoffing at him. Gangsters. This is his chance.

“Are _you_ not apologizing?” Baekhyun scoffs back. 

They look at each other, laughing in surprise. They move and surround Baekhyun in a semicircle. Baekhyun waits for the attack and when one of them punches him he accepts it and falls to the floor, losing balance. His teeth cut his lip and Baekhyun absorbs the pain as blood seeps out. Now they just needed to beat him to death.

“You’ve got balls. Get up and fight.” 

They don’t give him a chance as another man kicks him in his side. Baekhyun curls up on instinct and puts his arms against his hand. They continue to kick him and Baekhyun waits for the blow that’ll knock him out. Instead, they stop, and the biggest of the four crouches down in front of him and pulls Baekhyun up by his hair. His entire body stings to the point that Baekhyun can’t even feel it anymore. He feels blood drip down his cheek and it fills his mouth as he is face to face with the crouching man. 

“This is why pretty men like you should stick to your fancy restaurants and cars. Now, are you ready to apologize?” The man’s voice is rough and his grip tightens in Baekhyun’s hair causing him to wince. 

Baekhyun needs more pain. It’s the only thing that will help him punish himself. So Baekhyun looks the man straight into his dark eyes and smirks, his face aching and dripping blood at the movement. 

“Fuck you,” he says and spits out blood to the side. 

They pounce on him again and this time hold him up by his collar and punch him.

“They’re over here officer!!!!!” A voice hollers from the end of the alleyway. The four men drop him onto the floor and run as fast as they can. Baekhyun feels the ground dig into his skin as he falls.

Baekhyun closes his eyes and lays in his own blood, the rain– that is now barely a drizzle –blending into it. He hears two sets of footsteps running towards him and he lets out a wary breath. The alcohol isn’t keeping him drunk anymore and the ache all over his body hits him at once. 

“Hyung, are you okay?” He hears Jongin’s panicked voice say as the footsteps approach him. 

Baekhyun’s eyes crack open and he lets out a pain-filled groan as he sees a teary-eyed Jongin trying to pick him up. Behind him, Kyungsoo holds an umbrella and clutches onto his phone, his eyes worried.

“Jongin, we have to leave, they might come back,” he says.

Jongin picks him up bridal style and walks to a car. Jongin sits in the back seat and lays Baekhyun down in his lap. The car rumbles to a start under them as Kyungsoo drives them home. He glances up at Jongin and sees tears streaming down his face. Jongin cradles Baekhyun’s head in his lap and cries. 

Baekhyun pushes aside his pain to comprehend why Jongin is crying for someone like him. Jongin mumbles something.

“What?” Baekhyun says trying not to wince at the pain as he says the word. 

“I asked you what the hell you were thinking. You could’ve gotten yourself killed, Hyung!!” Jongin yells through tears of frustration. 

Baekhyun flinches at the sound and Jongin’s eyes soften immediately. 

“D-Don’t do this… please don’t act like you care. No one ever did.” Baekhyun says and he sees something die in Jongin’s eyes. 

“I don’t care what other people have done for you but I will always, _always_ care,” Jongin says through his teeth. 

Baekhyun lets out a breathy laugh and closes his eyes.

“Liar,” he mumbles as he slips into darkness. 

* * *

Baekhyun wakes up to the sound of a shower pouring in the distance. His eyes open and he has no idea where he is. His body screams in pain at every movement but Baekhyun clenches his teeth as he sits upright on the bed. He looks around at the well-decorated modern apartment. 

He looks down and sees his bruises patched up and his clothes changed. Baekhyun prays it wasn’t Jongin’s doing and that this isn’t his apartment. But God always had a way of ignoring all of Baekhyun’s prayers because the door to the bedroom opens and in walks Jongin in a T-shirt and sweats, fresh out of the shower, drying his hair with a towel.

Why? Why does it always circle back to Jongin? And why does Jongin stick around for him? Baekhyun had only shown him his worst sides. 

“Hyung, you’re awake.” He says, dropping the towel around his neck. “How are you feeling?”

Baekhyun wants to leave. Seeing Jongin hurts him more than any of the punches thrown at him. Some part of him had hope that maybe he had a chance with Jongin. But now even if he did have a chance with Jongin, he doesn’t deserve it. 

Baekhyun not having a countdown is solely his own fault and he’d live out the rest of his life paying for it. He doesn’t care that his mom was a prostitute or that she killed his dad.

 _Are you hearing yourself?_ A voice in his head whispers and Baekhyun shakes it off. 

“Hyung?”

Baekhyun looks up at Jongin. He moves to get up and his body screams in pain. Baekhyun ignores it and stands up.

“I’m leaving, sorry,” Baekhyun says with a wince as he starts to move to what looks like the front door. 

“Hyung, wait,” Jongin says and holds his hand. Baekhyun flinches and turns around. Jongin quickly lets go. “Can we talk?”

This is exactly what Baekhyun was trying to run away from. Having to explain why Baekhyun tried to run straight into a painful death. 

“About what?” Baekhyun says cautiously, hoping Jongin would take the hint. 

He doesn’t. 

“About why you were letting them beat you up.” Jongin pauses and then continues in the smallest voice. “That scared me to death.”

Baekhyun looks up at Jongin and sees his eyes glazed with tears. Now that he thinks of it, Jongin was sobbing in the car too. 

_Why?_

The question rings in Baekhyun’s head again. Silence surrounds them interrupted only by the pattering of the rain on the window. Jongin is still looking down at the floor when the first tear slips down his cheek. And Baekhyun doesn’t know why he does it but his body moves on his own. 

Baekhyun leans and presses his lips against the teardrop on Jongin’s cheek. He kisses away his first tear, letting the salty liquid wet his lips. Then he kisses Jongin’s second tear. And his third. Baekhyun isn’t sure if Jongin is breathing. 

He finally looks up at Jongin’s eyes and finds him looking right back. Baekhyun places a hand on Jongin’s cheek and caresses the smooth skin. Jongin’s eyes drop to Baekhyun’s lips but he doesn’t move. So Baekhyun does.

He pulls Jongin’s face towards him and presses his lips against Jongin’s. His eyes flutter close but mostly because he has no idea how to kiss. But he wants to– _needs_ to kiss him. Jongin’s lips are plump and soft against his and are now wet from the teardrops on Baekhyun’s lips. Baekhyun feels Jongin breathe finally and pulls away. 

Baekhyun opens his eyes after a pause to find Jongin watching him again as if he can’t tell if Baekhyun is serious or not. 

“Hyung,” Jongin says quietly, and as he says it something in his eyes snap. 

He leans down to Baekhyun and kisses him. But an actual kiss this time. His arms wrap around Baekhyun’s waist, careful of his wounds. Meanwhile, Jongin’s lips devour him, guiding him through the kiss. Baekhyun had expected fireworks to go off in his heart but there is raw electricity streaming through his blood instead. And right then, Jongin pulls away.

“I’m sorry, are you sure you–” He starts.

Baekhyun answers him by pushing him against the doorframe and shutting him up with another needy kiss. Baekhyun’s arms reach up and wrap around Jongin’s neck while his arms tighten on Baekhyun’s waist, pulling him closer. Jongin nudges his mouth open and when their tongues meet, Baekhyun lets out something between a whimper and a moan. He feels Jongin’s lips smile against his own in response. Baekhyun’s heart races at that. 

The kiss is gentle but needy, a little sloppy but perfect and everything Baekhyun wanted from his first kiss. Everyone told him kissing was overrated but kissing Jongin lifts every weight bearing down on his shoulders. Especially when Jongin holds him like a feather. 

Jongin finally pulls away, leaning his forehead against Baekhyun’s. His arms still hold Baekhyun flush against him. 

“You’re still going to have to tell me,” Jongin says and his voice is hoarse and rough. If Baekhyun didn’t have self-control then he would be pushing in for another kiss solely because of that voice, but thankfully he ignores the urge.

Baekhyun chuckles, their breaths mingling. Jongin leans in and kisses his cheek, straight on his mole. Baekhyun lets out a breath in response. They stand in silence, listening to each other’s breathing and heartbeats rise and fall.

“What does this mean,” Jongin asks carefully, pulling away, his hands resting on Baekhyun’s waist.

“Does it always have to mean something?” Baekhyun says, distracted by how swollen and red Jongin’s lips look. _Do his lips look the same?_

“Does that mean I can kiss you again?” 

Baekhyun feels his ears redden as he nods slowly. Jongin smiles.

“Good, I don’t know how I would’ve controlled myself after that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided I'll make the chapters longer and reduce the number of chapters so that you guys will have more to read when I post. Please comment on how comfortable you guys are with smut.


	6. [CLOSED]

Hey, it's the author here.   
I'm sad to say I won't be continuing this story. I try my best not to write when I'm not in a good mood because otherwise, the story wouldn't go the way I want and this story has just been going down for a while. Thank you for all the support you guys gave me and I'm sorry haha...  
bye and stream Jongin's solo when it comes out. BYEEEE LOVES.  
-y


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